outstandingbalance | IC Contact Post

[Yeah, sorry Nat, but Rin has lived with Emi and her leg issues long enough to recognize that that's definitely a lie. She won't force Nat not to come or anything, but she's got experience talking to someone who refuses to just sit around when they could be on their (prosthetic) feet.]

do you have the spiderbutt yet/ idk what its called but you know what i mean. the big booty part that all the legs are attached to

because if you dont and can still sit in chairs like normal then maybe you could use emis wheelchair/

[Its not a lot to offer, but it's all Rin's got. Thankfully, Emi has legs at night thanks to her wereform and she's got her running prosthetics for the daytime, so Rin is fairly confident that she'll be okay with loaning it out for however long it takes for Natasha's legs go grow out all the way.]

we have been through a lot. but i think thats just what this place does to everyone so i want to make sure your ok too.

im serious. if it hurts too much you shouldnt come. we can stop by and drop of the chair later if you want it.

it means a lot that you want to help tho. i dont really know how to deal with stuff like this but it helps to know that you care.

Abdomen. And not yet. Still two legs too, more or less.

Looks like eight's going to be a process.

[Which is as much detail as she really wants to get into. The offer is appreciated, even if she knows she's not going to take it as long as she can grit her teeth and bear it. She knows herself.]

I appreciate the offer though. If it gets worse, I'll keep it in mind.

I won't be stupid about this.

[She's not sure how to deal with the thanks. Natasha's done her best. That's about all any of them could do.]

i know how this works. emis a lot like you that way.

take the chair with you anyway. it folds up so itll be easy to take
if you dont need it you can give it back when you have your whole spider body

you helped emi and also your my friend. making you take this is the least i can do

[There's a long moment before the next reply. In the end, pragmatism wins the day.]

All right, it's a deal. Just in case.

thank you

i know you have all the limbs a person is supposed to have and you do ballet so maybe the idea of being in a wheelchair is scary to you or something. but theres no shame in it, ok/

[ She's trying to help, at least. She may not know all that much about Natasha, but Rin certainly understands the problems that Emi has with being confined to a wheelchair.

Hopefully there's some overlap there, so her advice can be at least somewhat applicable. ]

Guess I'm not used to accepting help for things.

well im not used to not getting help with things
not everything of course. but some stuff.
anyway i dont think it means your weak or anything if that makes you feel better about getting it

also can i ask you a question/

Sure. Ask away.

[She didn't promise she'd answer it, but Rin was free to ask.]

What's on your mind?

were you ok being a shade
i mean of course you werent ok. things arent ok in this place

i guess what im trying to ask is how did you deal with being one

because its rlly hard for me sometimes
a lot of the time actually
i miss beign solid

That's a hard question.

It's not something I liked, or I'd call easy. Luckily, I didn't have to feed much.

But I can see why you'd have trouble with that...

I don't know if it's better or worse than spider.

im not any good at it
my concentration keeps slipping and i keep dropping things
painting is so hard. i get rlly into it and then my paintbrush slips thru m t toes

i dropped my pencil twice typing this so far.
i hate it. i hate being like this
i wish i was still a goblin. or a human

[Note that 'goblin' came to mind before 'human.' That may or may not be a tell.]

im scared to go to the horse guy in the woods though

[Oh, she did notice.]

If you're not comfortable being a shade... human might be a little far, but you could still be something you're more comfortable with.

What has you worried?

about a month before you got here on the mountain i tried to buy a change from him and i ended up as a mermaid. and not just any mermaid i was the worst kind of mermaid

im scared if i try to get another one ill lose my legs again. or my feet. but permanently instead of just for a month/
what if i end up as a wendigo and i cant pick anything up with my stupid deer heeves
or worse. a snake or a spider.

[A brief pause, and then:]

um
no offense

None taken.

So you can't ask for something specific? Seems like if you're paying for a service, it shouldn't be such a crap shoot.

[But then maybe that's the nature of the beast in this case.]

Maybe there's another way. The mountain changed you once, even if it wasn't permanent. Could be there are other ways to change.

you can ask if you want to
that doesnt mean thats what youll change into though. people ask for stuff from him all the time and they get entirely different stuff

[She honestly isn't sure if it's his fault or if magic is just a gamble at best. Either way, she's afraid to put her legs on the line.]

do you think the mountain could do it again/

[Natasha has looked into the way people spend those coins a little, but she hadn't heard the success rate. Osborn had certainly been able to buy his town. She knew she there were those who had changed, at least.

If there were a failure rate, that explained why everyone wasn't doing it.]

I don't know. Not right now.

I don't know if it would even be worth trying again, considering the way the Fog God pushed back last time.

yeah. your probably right about that

why do you think she attacked that mountain if she doesnt get mad at the horse guy for changing us/

Not a bad question. Maybe because of the scale? He does things one person at a time, by request.

The mountain aimed a lot higher.

Just a guess though.

maybe its because the mountain actually gave a crap about us and the horse just does it for money/

[ Not that she's biased or anything. ]

he doesnt even care when bad things happen to us because of his dumb magic

did you know that he turned me into a snail/ that's what kind of sea creature my mermaid part was and he didnt care at all

[So, really, it shouldn't come as any sort of surprise that Rin is hesitant to come to him for help again. ]

I didn't know that. You'd mentioned being a mermaid before, but somehow I pictured

Fish.

Did you talk to him, or...?

[It turns out, Natasha didn't actually know how this sort of thing works.]

no they can be any kind of sea creature i guess.

honestly im not sure what the rules are i just know that theres one guy whose a squid and a different guy whose an eel thing and I was a snail.

[ Demyx is the "Eel Thing" for the record. She didn't really talk to him long enough to ask what his fish parts actually were. ]

no i havent talked to him since i bought the potion.
but i know he didnt care bc hes the one who sold me the stupid snail potion in the first place

[ Of course, now she feels dumb for trusting him enough to buy the potion to begin with. And for drinking a potion without asking what it would turn her into. So she quickly changes the subject back to what it was like to be the Worst Mermaid.]

i was covered in slime all the time. not just my fish parts, my whole body made the stuff
it was so gross

[If Rin were smarter or more socially aware, this might be construed as some kind of intentional manipulation intended to garner sympathy.

She isn't, though. She's just embarrassed at her own foolishness and brought up the first semi-relevant thing that came to mind. ]

That sounds pretty bad, yeah.

[Natasha doesn't take it for attempting to get sympathy. And at this point, even if it were, Rin probably deserves some sympathy at this point.]

I can't blame you for not wanting to risk that again.

Can't blame you for not wanting to to stay a shade either.

It's not wrong for you to for you to want at least that much control.

thanks
im really glad you said that

[Because, to be honest, it's beginning to feel like she's asking too much, since there's no clean solution in sight.]

anyway ive got to go now
but thanks again for helping emi. ill try to make it up to you somehow

You're welcome.

Take care of yourself.

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