only change will bring you outta the darkness

[outstandingbalance]

[It takes less than two hours to be on a train leaving Budapest, bound for a transfer in Munich before heading for London. From there, she supposed her unexpected "rescuer" would be able to arrange an extraction. Her handlers—now former handlers—had fewer resources out there than they had in Hungary or Germany. It's a ten hour trip with a sleeper car, and leaving just before midnight. And that was before they switched trains.

Natasha tries not to think too much about what that means until after they're safely in motion. She's already committed to this course of action, and it would be pointless to undermine it with worry.

Once they're underway, her situation weighs more and more heavily on her mind.

She sits quietly, drawn in on herself for the first part of their trip. Two things nag at her. The first is the hunger. Bagged blood helped, took the edge off, but she was still committing herself to being shut in with a warm, living human for the duration of their trip.

The second is sunrise, and before long she's counting the hours and minutes until dawn. She's not as weak to sunlight as some of the assets she's heard of. Photosensitive, but not to the degree where she's likely die of it unless she's staked out for prolonged exposure. That doesn't mean she's not vulnerable, though. Staying awake once the sun is up is always a challenge, meaning at best she'll be slow. At worst, she won't be able to stay awake at all.

Trust didn't come easy to Natasha, neither giving nor receiving, but here she was.]

Comments

[seesbetter]

[He doesn't speak much on their journey. When he does, it's with respect for their privacy. He speaks vaguely when it happens, using avian imagery to discuss her impending freedom.

Just before the train pulls into Munich, though, he excuses himself to the men's room. Upon return, he smells more strongly of blood than he did before. She'll be able to detect the scent of a bleeding injury even if he's not openly wounded. He presses a flash into her hand as he settles back down next to her.]

Figured my new lady friend might want a little bit of medicine. I know how you Russian girls hate to go dry for too long.

[outstandingbalance]

[By the time they're get close, Natasha's already starting to doze off. Even with the blind down, she can feel the morning light outside. It's like trying to move and think through water. She wants to let go and give in to rest. Fighting against that instinct is almost second nature by now, though.

The scent of blood jolts her back to alertness, her eyes snapping open and into focus.

She takes the flask, but her gaze is fixed on him.]

How much experience do you have with Russian girls?

[She swallows dryly, watching him, looking for signs of wounds.]

[seesbetter]

[She won't find anything obvious. He's fully clothed, with no clear stab injuries staining his gear.]

Since I was a kid. There ain't much you can do to break my heart. So go ahead., before it gets all gross and room temperature.

[The blood within the flask is still hot and fresh, barely a step removed from actively belonging to a vein.]

[outstandingbalance]

[She can't argue with that. Not when she's hungry and everything smells like food. There's a part of her that still wants to fight, just to try to keep control of the situation a moment longer, but that part loses after only a few seconds of reflection. Both hunger and pragmatism are against it.

She uncaps the flash and raises it to her lips, watching his face as she does.]

[seesbetter]

[He doesn't react to the way she attacks the liquid. It's nothing out of the ordinary, just a very alcoholic date downing a bit of vodka. No need to stare.]

Feeling better? I don't want you passing out in the middle of our stopover.

[outstandingbalance]

[It goes down more smoothly warm, none of the revulsion that tinges hunger like when it's older, cooler. She doesn't even think as she swallows it down, more desperate than she intended to let him see her.

The down side of being kept hungry all of the time.

When she stops, she's breathing hard. It takes another moment to collect herself.]

[seesbetter]

[He smirks faintly, resisting the urge to make a "was it good for you?" joke.]

The way I see it, we'll have time to hit up a couple of bars while we're traveling. See the sights, you know? We'll be near something maybe every six hours? There's probably room to get you decently smashed at bedtimes.

[Two small feedings to keep her going during the day, and a more substantial one at night. Given the amount he's intending to donate, he's clearly planning on a solid night's sleep to recover. He's trusting her to tend to him while he's most vulnerable as well. Pure symbiosis.]

[outstandingbalance]

[She can almost see the way he wants to say something cocky, that smirk striking her as very American and not at all serious enough.

But it turned out he'd followed her concerns perfectly and accounted for them.]

It's not good for you drinking so much. [She can play this game too.] I'm not sure you have my tolerance.

[seesbetter]

[It's a good game. It marks them as a pair of young twentysomethings backpacking across Europe. What's less suspicious than that?]

Well then I'm sure a pro like you can handle me when I'm smashed. Don't let me drown in my own vomit or anything, okay?

[outstandingbalance]

Just don't ask me to hold back your hair.

[She mumbles it, leaning back in her seat.]

I'm going to have to sleep this off too at some point, you know.

[He enjoys this. It's a little hard to believe, but clearly he does.]

[seesbetter]

There's time to crash on the next train. There's a nine hour ride coming up.

[He drapes an arm over her shoulder.]

Don't worry so much. It's gonna be an awesome trip.

[outstandingbalance]

[That takes her by surprise. People touched her like that sometimes, but not when they knew what she was. When they mistook her for a normal woman.]

I'm glad one of us is an optimist.

[seesbetter]

There's no optimism involved in confidence.

[He gives her shoulder a squeeze before pulling away, still smiling.]

So just hang out, babe.

So then you mentioned vampires five months later and I remembered this.

[seesbetter]

[The plan made tons of sense at the start. Smuggle a vampire out of HYDRA, have Coulson meet them in Tea Country, fun and games along the way. That was before the tense standoffs with customs, the delayed trains, and the fact that their tour guide had been the sole source of mealtimes for his vampire in custody.

They've made it to England, at least. It's a hostel in New Addington (which struck Clint as an exceptionally dumb name for a town), where the purveyors are sensible enough not to ask too many questions. It's sunset, which means their shift change is due.

Clint collapses onto the bed without bothering to remove his outerwear, extending a pale arm to Natasha's side.]

Got word from the boss. We move you at high noon tomorrow. Your people won't be expecting us to try it when it's that difficult.

IT STILL COUNTS

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha stirs toward the warm body that comes down next to her, still lazy from the day but quickly rousing. Her hunger is back—it never really went away, but she's ready for more.

She's taking too much from him. It's a good thing they're planning for tomorrow, but she's not sure he'll hold out. Her fingers glide over his arm, tracing over the vein under his skin.]

You have a plan for that?

[She asks a beat too late to seem entirely natural.]

I don't think you brought me this far for a public immolation.

[seesbetter]

[He's sure he's got enough in him to make it through tomorrow, and probably the next day if things go badly. It doesn't matter that he's giving it faster than he can replenish, or that even his lips have gone pale and fleshtoned. He's got this.

She needs help.

He's just tired. That's all it is.]

Yeah, he's sending dome guys our way/ UV shields, the works. Once you're at the local HQ branch, we'll be able to set up something comfortable for you. Maybe get you to the states, put a continent between you and where they think you oughta be.

[outstandingbalance]

[And harder for her to slip away if she were to change her mind. It's not a bad move where avoiding HYDRA is concerned, though. And she doesn't have a better chance to get away.

She snorts softly at the idea this is going to be comfortable, though.]

You say that like HYDRA won't be in the states.

[She runs her hand up his arm slowly. She's had enough of his blood to have developed a taste for it. That's not something that's happened before. It's a strange feeling and she only half recognizes it for what it is.]

Just one more day?

[seesbetter]

With any luck.

[He curls closer to her, instinctively seeking out her comfort. It was weird how comfortable this arrangement was becoming between them. He'd stopped bothering with drawing his own blood after the first night. Too much work when his extremities started getting colder.]

You're still feeling okay, right?

[outstandingbalance]

[She welcomes him closer, vaguely possessive as she rests her had on his shoulder. At his question, she wets her lips.

Okay was a relative term.]

Can you give more? We can put it off a while if we have to...

[Afterward, she'll take him out. Get him some coffee. Something to eat. He'll need fluids and protein with how much he's giving.]

[seesbetter]

Yeah, 'course I can. I'm just tired tonight. Probably going to pass out on you early.

[His wrist writches in her grasp, nudging closer to her mouth.]

Go on. Do your breakfast thing.

[outstandingbalance]

[Who is she to turn him down. She takes his wrist gently and pushes herself up on one elbow to look down at him.]

Not too early. You still need dinner.

[The concern is real, and she can rationalize it easily enough. Of course she doesn't want him pushing himself too far. He's been feeding her. He's helping her. It's both in her best interest to take care of him, and something she owes him.

There's no reason to consider the impulse more deeply.

Or why it doesn't stop her from mouthing his wrist after she tells him that, her fangs sinking into a the skin smoothly.]

[seesbetter]

Sure... whatever.

[It's probably not worrisome that he moans when she bites him. He'd probably just meant to yawn and got some wires crossed or something. It would be way unprofessional to enjoy this.

His blood is probably slower than usual, like a faucet with low water pressure. He still bleeds just fine, but she might have to work a bit harder to get her fill tonight.]

[outstandingbalance]

[Her mouth seals around the wound as she sucks at it, her tongue working over it. She doesn't try to rush things by ripping a deeper hole in him, her fangs still controlled, but sucking with single-minded purpose.]

[seesbetter]

[He sighs softly as she dines, flexing his fingers slowly to prompt circulation.]

Getting kinda cold in here at night. I guess it's true that brits don't know how to insulate a house worth anything.

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha barely hears him; his words themselves register only slowly and without real meaning, though his voice encourages her and draws out more of that fond possessiveness. She hums softly, close to a purr of satisfaction as reward for his offer.]