only change will bring you outta the darkness

[outstandingbalance]

[It takes less than two hours to be on a train leaving Budapest, bound for a transfer in Munich before heading for London. From there, she supposed her unexpected "rescuer" would be able to arrange an extraction. Her handlers—now former handlers—had fewer resources out there than they had in Hungary or Germany. It's a ten hour trip with a sleeper car, and leaving just before midnight. And that was before they switched trains.

Natasha tries not to think too much about what that means until after they're safely in motion. She's already committed to this course of action, and it would be pointless to undermine it with worry.

Once they're underway, her situation weighs more and more heavily on her mind.

She sits quietly, drawn in on herself for the first part of their trip. Two things nag at her. The first is the hunger. Bagged blood helped, took the edge off, but she was still committing herself to being shut in with a warm, living human for the duration of their trip.

The second is sunrise, and before long she's counting the hours and minutes until dawn. She's not as weak to sunlight as some of the assets she's heard of. Photosensitive, but not to the degree where she's likely die of it unless she's staked out for prolonged exposure. That doesn't mean she's not vulnerable, though. Staying awake once the sun is up is always a challenge, meaning at best she'll be slow. At worst, she won't be able to stay awake at all.

Trust didn't come easy to Natasha, neither giving nor receiving, but here she was.]

Comments

[seesbetter]

[It's not enough. It might never be enough. He makes a mess of the poor old woman's neck, stopping only at the sound of Natasha's voice. He pulls away, thoroughly bloodied.]

I need more than that. I don't know where you found that side of beef, but I need about ten more of them, I think.

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha steps between him and the woman, hissing softly.]

That's not you talking. It's the hunger.

[seesbetter]

If my hunger's talking, it's because I'm hungry.

[He doesn't make a move to go past her to finish eating, though. It doesn't even occur to him not to do as she says.]

[outstandingbalance]

We need to rendezvous with SHIELD. Remember? We need to get out of Europe. That won't happen if you're at a buffet.

[Natasha turns away from him then, biting into her thumb and smearing the blood over the mess Clint made of the old woman's neck. She's lost a lot of blood, but not enough to kill her outright... they might be able to make this work still. Somehow.]

[seesbetter]

Food's good in Europe.

[it's almost like the entire world is shrinking to something that fits his most basic needs. There's food, and not food.]

Look, if this bothers you it's not like I asked for it.

[outstandingbalance]

I didn't blame you. That doesn't mean you don't have to get control of yourself.

[The old woman isn't in the best shape, but the wound closes. Natasha frowns, not liking her chances, but at least she has a chance? And if she doesn't make it, the reason why won't be all over her neck.

Next time, she'll need to find him one he can finish.]

Stay here while I clean her up.

[seesbetter]

I got plenty of control.

[He can control how much he reaches for the bloody thing and bites it again... Or he would have, if she hadn't told him to stay.]

You can't just order me around like a puppy. I'm not gonna just stay here and wait around for you to handle everything.

[She absolutely can. He doesn't budge after she tells him to stay.]

[outstandingbalance]

[He will. There's no "if he doesn't, then..." because there's no real doubt in her mind that he won't obey her. She takes the woman back out and cleans her up, sits her down, even gives her a glass of juice from the fridge and a firm command to drink it. Drink it, and forget all of this.

When she returns to Clint, she still doesn't respond to what he said. Instead she wraps her arms around him and pulls her into a hug.]

[seesbetter]

[He returns the hug before he even thinks about it, curling closer than he did when he was feeding her. He doesn't have a word for this connection to his Sire, but every cell in his body screams out with the need to be closer to her.

He kisses her without thinking about it. He hasn't been able to focus on just about any thoughts since waking; why start now?]

[outstandingbalance]

[She's not surprised by the kiss, and she doesn't reject it, accepting his kiss as a natural expression of his new relationship with her. Natasha had never been allowed to bond with her sire, but she can sense it now. She's meant to be strong for him.

It's only natural that he should love her in return.

She strokes his back, making it clear that he's forgiven for his rebellious noise.]

[seesbetter]

[He bites at her bottom lip, but it's a gentle pressure that barely breaks her skin. He doesn't understand any of it really; there'll be time for regrets and realizations later. Right now, there's just a series of Needs. He needs to keep eating. He needs to be with her. Nothing else fits yet.]

[outstandingbalance]

[Her lips twitch a indulgently, the old woman forgotten. She tips her chin up and nips the top of his nose teasingly.]

[seesbetter]

[He smiles, perhaps the first time she's seen more than a smirk crease his features]

Did you always look this good before right now?

[outstandingbalance]

It's your eyes that have changed. [Her looks is pleased.]

[seesbetter]

[His smile broadens.]

Well then I gotta say. I like these eyes a whole lot better.

[outstandingbalance]

[She reaches up, combing her fingers through his hair. Then she leans in and grazes his jaw lightly with her fangs.]

It's not all bad, is it?

[seesbetter]

Can't think of a bad part yet.

[It's not a lie. The hunger isn't terrible now that he's at least had a little to eat. And his sire is here, reinforcing whatever ethereal imprint infant vampires need. What else is there?]

[outstandingbalance]

That's not true. [Just a moment ago, he'd been upset about it. But at least he's settling down.]

We'll get through this, though. You'll eat more later...

Now we just have to wait until day, when your people move us. [If they still will. But they'll cross that when they come to it. Natasha's not going to quit now.]

[seesbetter]

[At first, he's not sure what people she's talking about. The horror slowly dawns upon his features, until he's shoving her away.]

Fuck what the hell's wrong with me.

[outstandingbalance]

[Natasha's surprise at that is real. It seems wrong somehow for him to push her away; she doesn't allow it at first, pulling him back and holding him tighter against his struggles.]

Calm down. You're adjusting. This is very new.

[seesbetter]

[He doesn't fight for long when she holds him properly, like a horse responding to pressure against its backside.]

Lady, I'm married.

[outstandingbalance]

What does that have to do with anything?

[seesbetter]

It has a lot to do with not making out with vampires I barely know.

[outstandingbalance]

It's not the same.

[Not because they hadn't been kissing, but because what was between them wasn't the same as what he'd have with a wife. He'd never share his blood the way he did Natasha's—not unless he turns her as well.]

I made you.

[seesbetter]

Bullshit.

[He growls, but then he hears himself. It makes him growl harder with disgust.]

You killed me. Don't try dressing it up like something it isn't.